Working with Faeries: 5 Things to Avoid

A large reason why I started this series was to help spread some helpful information about the faerie folk, because boy, do I see a lot of bad advice being given online in regards to the Sidhe, denizens of the Otherworld! Some of the advice I see around faeries is very well intentioned, but also potentially dangerous to those mortals who don't know better. As someone who fancies themselves a faerie friend, I'd like to help anyone stumbling on this blog to interact with these magickal spirits in a safe and productive way.

First of all, in the world of the faerie, there are two types of people: those who get worked over by the pixies, and those who work with pixies. You want to be the latter. This blog post is going to teach you exactly how to avoid doing anything but just that!

1. Don't let them have your name!

Or your hair, for that matter. I see both of these things commonly online being suggested as "offerings," and let me tell you, anyone suggesting these things to you is likely wearing a faerie bridle, or maybe even a bit faerie themselves.

Neither of these things will rot after the rest of your body does, and while things like this have no value in a world ruled by time, we have to remember that the Otherworld exists beyond the reach of time. Your true name and your hair are energies that should only ever be offered to things that you truly entrust with your spirit's very essence. For me, that's me. And barely that!

For those worried about whether or not they are the only one in possession of their name, now, I have a handy spell available in the Divination Den to assign yourself one: click here to open it in a new tab!

2. Don't leave offerings, leave gifts

An offering is for a God. Gifts are for friends.

This is a very basic distinction, and it's usually where people go very, very wrong first, to be honest. It's the first lesson I give in faerie logic to those who wind up asking after how to make friends with them, too, aside from the age old, "evil is in the eye of the beholder," talk. This doesn't extend to exchanges we are making for faerie favors - we'll discuss that in #4.

A faerie is not inherently a God, but is inherently a mortal energy (as we learned about the Tuatha, last week) that exists in a realm that differs from but is connected to ours. Just like we would not worship another human being as a God (I hope, anyway) we probably shouldn't worship faeries without good reason. While some of the entities that live in the Otherworld are certainly worthy of the title of deity, I reserve that very specifically for the entities that have earned it.

Mistakenly giving a normal Sidhe the rights to be Divine entity over you, in my humble opinion, is bad. It's as bad as letting a narcissist rule your life, just because they think they know better than you do, and have the right to do so. Sure, they may sometimes actually live that reality, but they will just as often make mistakes and be disappointing! The difference between a faerie and a narcissist, however, is that a restraining order more often than not works on the narcissist when you've had enough of their meddlesome ways imploding your life.

3. Just because it's Fae, doesn't mean is Fair

It's easy to assume, especially with the way the Sidhe have been romanticized over modern history by certain children's movie companies, that faeries are just gentle nature spirits helping bring about the subtle changes in the natural world. While this is largely true for nature faeries, I can assure you that there are many, many types of fae. There are certainly lots of Tinkerbell's, but Pan's Labyrinth contains some dark entities not very far from the truth, either (I'll discuss some common faeries of lore on future Friday's, don't worry!).

If you are just setting out on your faerie adventure, especially, be wary of the Dark Ones. Always be sure that the energy you are working with is not manipulating you, or potentially gaining more than it would seem. Energies that whisper your name, are extremely alluring or repugnant, mimic voices or children, or that attempt to lure you out into the open or forest especially should be worked with very skeptically, if at all.

If you are able to make full connection with your higher self or some other form of spiritual check in before beginning to work with and make exchanges with faeries, I highly recommend doing so whenever encountering a new entity!

4. Never owe a debt

I think it kind of goes without saying why this is bad, the number one reason being eternal imprisonment in the faerie realms, but...

I really don't think you'd want them to owe you one, either. They won't rest until they've repaid it just as much as they don't let it go until you've repaid them, and at times will even do things without being asked (not always pleasant or desirable) and claim the debt paid, anyway. You're better off always making straight deals, to make sure you get what you want (or closest to it, anyway).

Not every faerie is as easy to make a straight deal with, either. I actually don't really recommend, personally, working with anything but your own familiar faeries to accomplish trades, unless you happen to know and work with a high or ranking Sidhe (and knowing this isn't always easy, as those who work with fae come to learn). This is because lower energy Sidhe have a larger reason to want to get over on us (to gain more power on their end) and also because Sidhe we have a close relationship with are more likely to try and do right by us.

This brings us to #5...

5. Don't forget they are faeries

Seriously. Don't.

They do not have the same logic we do. Many aren't logical in any way. They are invisible. They are not Gods, but they do have quite a lot of power, especially the most powerful among them.

They can go wherever you are. Physical walls cannot stop them. Once you let them in your spiritual walls, they're in. Getting rid of an infestation of German cockroaches is definitively easier than getting rid of one pixie with a spiritual deed to your vicinity, and I know, because I've unfortunately had to do both.

I still begrudgingly have the pixie. We've come to a compromise, thankfully, which couldn't be said about the bugs.

They get a lot of joy out of tricking each other. Why wouldn't they get just as much (if not more) joy out of tricking you, too? Some of them would literally ruin your life for the laughs. Others will just hide all your things to watch you destroy your house to find them, and some might hide you away in the faerie realm for the next five hundred years (it's not as great as it sounds, I promise) - or, if you're really unlucky, at the bottom of a bog.

Use caution, friends. Don't ever forget that you're a fool, because the faeries most certainly won't.