Ten Tenets: Sexual Balance

Reproduction and sex are just a natural part of the world, much like some of the other "negative" aspects of the Ten Tenets. Sex is, after all, part of how the life cycle perpetuates. Without it, humanity would cease to exist, and, so, it isn't bad, in and of itself.

Misconducting ourselves in a sexual way is what makes this otherwise perfectly healthy and acceptable act a negative one. Sex in and of itself can actually be a positive thing, but it also has the propensity to be very harmful to ourselves, and others. When sex is a negative act, rather than a positive one, it can be very harmful and permanently wounding to those who suffer through it.

Because sex intertwines our energy so completely with someone else's, it is important to not only consider our own vibration, but also the vibration of others. Even if we are approaching the situation from a very high vibrational place, the potential partner may not be.

Assuring that we are being as positively vibrational as possible in regards to sexual interaction will help us make sure that we are not damaging our vibration with our sexual activity. In addition to being considerate of who we take as partners in the first place, there are ways to make sure that we aren't misconducting ourselves in this area of life.

Sex can be a very positive interaction because it allows all parties involved, if they are willing, to enjoy themselves in a physical way. This temporary elation is a celebration of our physical bodies, and this is a good thing! Sex can be incredibly relaxing, emotionally and spiritually fulfilling, and physically beneficial.

It also allows us to reproduce, which perpetuates humanity and the life of our species. While this may or may not be a good thing cosmically (we have yet to see our ultimate role in the grand cosmos, after all!), it is a pretty good thing for us as a whole, in this moment. Anyone who has ever held a brand new baby knows all too well that a new, innocent life is a pretty wonderful blessing!

Sex also allows us to spiritually and emotionally connect on a much deeper level with those we share romantic or physical feelings towards. As mentioned in the introduction, sex unites our energies with that of our sexual partners. This allows us, momentarily, to be a part of them, and they us. Done the right way, sex with a loving, high vibrational partner can even heal and raise the vibration of both partners! This is because sexual interaction is a very powerful ritual that makes it very easy to love and understand someone else, and it is one of the few ways we can experience the joy of being truly connected a whole that is larger than our selves.

All the good aspects of sex can make it addictive, however. This leads to several issues, namely taking new or repeat partners that are energetically harmful, just for the physical rush and spiritual union. The addiction to how sex makes us feel can drive us to stay with partners who are not suitable for us in every other way, or can push us very quickly from one partner to the next. Both of these things are very damaging to your energetic vibration, especially if the partners being encountered have low vibrations, to begin with. Not to mention, having sex can potentially deepen the emotional bond between two people in a way that may not have naturally occurred, if they had attempted to develop the relationship with communication, instead. While this isn't necessarily an inherently bad thing, I'm sure I am not the only one who has kept an ill-suited lover around for much longer than I should have, for no reason than a sexual tether existed between us.

Our ego can also become involved in sexual interaction, taking away the loving, nurturing aspect that should be available in healthy interactions. Sex motivated or tainted by the ego is just about any sexual interaction that is done for more than a shared, purely pleasurable experience between one or more people. While the most obvious example is probably rape, forcing someone else to have undesired sexual interaction because another believes they have the right to that interaction, there are many other ego-fueled sexual interactions. BDSM and other forms of "shame sex," or "domination sex," both revolving around making someone feel more or less powerful through the act of sexual energetic exchanges, are also sexual interactions that are very often heavily colored by the ego. The most benign example is probably that of a person using the number of their total sexual interactions, or the type of person those interactions were with, to validate their overall desirability or worth as a person, but it is, also, probably one of the most prevalent, from my experiences in the real world.

When the ego goes unchecked in sexual interactions, perversion arises. Perversion and other forms of sexual interaction that are not purely pleasurable for all parties involved are also generally negative in nature. I personally define perversion as sexual interaction that is painful, grotesque, humiliating to one or more parties, or extremely unsanitary. Perversion is, actually, most often uncomfortable or unpleasant for other people, and can actually vary from person to person, depending on what they personally find desirable or arousing. This is why getting to know our sexual partners very well before we have sex with them is especially important! They may find a particular act perfectly acceptable, while we are absolutely horrified, and the most desirable time to find out about these discrepancies is probably not in the heat of things.

I have a very wide tolerance and acceptance of others sexual beings, and as such, struggle with this concept of the Ten Tenets more than most. How each person approaches sexual interaction is a very personal path, and certainly not one that people should feel uncomfortable seeking to define for themselves. I really hope that I haven't offended anyone, or made them feel ashamed! It certainly wasn't my intent, and I apologize if that is the case.

How do you approach sex and spirituality? I'd love to hear more from you!

Affirmation:

I carry a divine spark within me.

That spark is mine to guard and share.